Recalling Memories

  I've been thinking about memories recently. The older I get the more aware I am of how fleeting they are. I love to reminisce when I hang out with old friends. We revisit the past and hash out the details. Sometimes the memories come rushing back. Other times they are completely forgotten.

  Isn't it just the greatest when you suddenly recall a fond memory? It's like God is sending you little snapshots of your life and he is saying, " Remember this? I was there with you."

Sometimes the memories aren't so pleasant. They can be painful, regretful, or downright embarrassing memories.

  Tonight, after the kids were in bed, Paul and I did our evening workout. After 20 minutes of lunges I laid on the couch and quickly propped my feet on the cushions so my legs were elevated. It brought me back to 6th grade basketball practice.

Look.. I am not a sporty person by any means, but it was way worse when I was a slow and uncoordinated 12 year old girl. Eventually I wisened up and got into music. That is where I really thrived, however,  that is another story.

I played basketball from 6th to 9th grade. My 6th grade basketball coah was Coach Mudd. This next opinion reverts back to me being.. you know.. slow and uncoordinated but I feel as though she ran us pretty hard.
  Uuugghh.. Cardio.. **shivers**
I know, I know.. "No pain no gain" and all of that jazz.. but I reiterate.. slow and uncoordinated.

There is this particular drill we would do that was absolute hell. I don't even remember what it was called but it requires you to be low and moving.

When she told us to line up at half court I knew what was coming. I remember I would scheme and attempt to get at the end of the line. I did not want to be the first in the line and hold everyone up.

The only problem was Coach would pick which end started. You could be last or you could be first. Well this time I was first. I was filled with dread.. Coach Mudd blew her whistle and everyone squatted down in unison to shuffle around the cracked and faded black lines of the court.

I started out at a good pace. For a moment I thought I could push through it. About halfway around is when I started to zone out a little.
But I kept pushing.
My view started to get blurry.
But I kept pushing. 
I started to get tunnel vision.
But I kept pushing.
I couldn't hear the coach calling my name.
So I kept pushing.

I don't remember what it was that snapped me out of it. I remember being pulled to the side and Coach Mudd stopping the practice. She had me lie down on the bleachers and put my feet on the beige plastic seats above me. I laid there and looked at the ceiling for a few minutes. Every second that went by I felt a little better. I could hear the other girls on my team whispering. I looked over to see them staring at me and talking. My cheeks burned and my eyes teared up. I was sure they thought the worst of me. I felt ashamed. I felt like a weakling.

  Coach Mudd continued practice and for the 10 minutes that was left I stayed in that same position. When practice was over she walked over to ask me if I was ok. I struggled to get up and let out a squeaky, " Yes!" Hoping I sounded enthusiastic. I wanted to sound strong. I wanted to be able to brush it off.
Then Coach Mudd said, "Never ever push yourself that hard. It's ok to tell me you can't do something."

  Something was being chipped away inside of me. It was as if a frosted window began to crack.
Practice was over so I made my way to the locker room where all of the girls were getting ready for class. When I walked in they strode over to me and asked if I was ok. They all told me they were so worried about me. In that moment the frosted window shattered and I realized that I had been insecure and ashamed for no reason.
I am the only one that knows my body and only I know when I've reached my limit.
This may seem like an obvious thought to most but I wanted approval so bad. I wanted to look stronger than I actually was.

  back to the present as I was strung out on the couch in the exact same position I was in so many years ago, I asked God a few questions.

  "God, where were you?"

  He said,

  "As you were pushing yourself past your limit I was the one who was holding you up and I sat beside you while you tried to catch your breath."
  
  "God, what is the truth you want to share with me tonight?"

   This is what he spoke..

  "Call on my name when you are weary and I will be there."

  Have you ever heard the phrase, 'God will only give you what you can handle'?
I don't like that phrase. I think there will be times when are given more than we can handle. I don't think that's a bad thing. I think its an opportunity to put our trust in God. It's a good thing to take a step back and say, "I can't do this. Lord, take this from me."

Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and a door will be open unto you.

  God will swoop in and save you. He will be there for you because he is already there.

 

Serenity Margaret Edwards

She was so different from Shamblin.
First of all, She hardly ever gave me morning sickness. Thanks so much for that, oh daughter of mine.
I craved those salty, crispy, greasy burgers from Freddy's instead of chocolate chip cookies.
She wasn't much of a kicker and she never got the hiccups.

I was hoping she would be born on New Years Day. How cool  of a birthday would that be?
Alas, January 1st arrived and nothing was happening. I went to bed around midnight that night. I don't know what compelled me to stay up that late but I did.
I remember laying down in bed and I just had the weirdest feeling in my back. It was almost like a deep tickle in my spine.

 In the back of my mind, I knew that it was beginning. Yet I pushed it further back and told myself it was really just a hope.

 Paul came to bed around 2:30. He hardly ever wakes me up when he gets in bed but that night he did. When I woke up I felt the teeniest tiniest contraction. I tried to sleep but;
1. I was way too excited to sleep
2. The contractions were just annoying enough that they kept me up and
3. I was way way way too excited to sleep.

 There is just something about labor day, guys. Knowing that you are about to meet this little one that you have been waiting for for 9 months. Wondering what she will look like.. Hoping that the ultrasound was correct and she actually is a she so you didn't buy all of these adorable little baby girl clothes for nothing..

  I got up and went into the living room.
My distraction of choice was The Office season 9. Time to binge watch.

  I sat on the birthing ball and timed each contraction. They got closer and closer together and each was a little more painful than the last.

I called my mom and I called my mother-in-law pretty early in the morning letting them know I was pretty sure it was time.
My mom started to make the hour and a half drive from Sapulpa and my in-laws came to pick up Shamblin.

 Of course as soon as they got there my contractions stopped.
They just stopped...
I was afraid it was a false alarm but Paul's parents took Shamblin anyway.
By that time I had woken up a grumpy husband. (sorry Paul but you should really get in bed earlier)
We had gotten everything packed up for the hospital but since my contractions stopped we didn't go. So Paul sprawled out on the couch and fell asleep.
I decided to take advantage of the stall in the middle of my labor to get some shut eye too since I only had slept about two and a half hours.
It was a gift from God.
I got to sleep another couple of hours and when I woke up it was go time again! My contractions were back and they were strong.

 At 11:00 we left for the hospital and stopped at sonic because I was starving.
mmmm... cheesburger bacon toasters...

  Can I just say that I love the Norman Healthplex? So clean and everyone is so friendly! Except for the lady that took us back in the triage room. She was a little grumpy. She also made us wait in that room for an hour. She also took about 8 minutes to see how dilated I was. So that was awful.. but i'm not holding a grudge or anything..

 They finally got me to my room and broke my water. Which means labor just got a lot harder yo. After an hour I was ready for my epidural because I had not progressed any further.
Thank you giant needle in my spine.

 I could still feel each contraction but they no longer hurt so I closed my eyes and tried to doze off.

I always felt a little annoyed that I had to be hooked up to machines while I labored. I felt like it was unnecessary. Oh how wrong I was. Oh how grateful I am for the machines that surround me and monitor my heart and my girl's heart.

As I was drifting off I could hear the beeping slow down. It got slower and slower. I was so tired literally the first thought that went through my head was, "Am I dying?"
I open my eyes and I see the nurse hustle in. I could tell there was something wrong. She was moving way too quickly for just a check in on me.
I'm thankful for nurses who can stay so calm in a time of crisis. I knew something bad was happening but I didn't know what.

 Serenity's heart rate had plummeted.
They quickly put an oxygen mask on me and told me to breath deep. They tried to flip me over on my other side.
This was the scariest few minutes of my life.
I am so thankful for nurses knowing exactly what to do.
Soon Serenity's heart rate was back where it needed to be.
After I shed a few tears I felt better and thanked God for helping Serenity.

  When they checked on my dilation I was at a 7. About 30 minutes later my brother, Luke, and my father came to visit.
My sister was on her way to take pictures for me but she was stopping to get some food for everyone.
Except for me.. woe is labor.

My mom stepped out for the first time all morning to go to the bathroom. While she stepped out they checked my dilation and I was at a 10! It happened so fast. Paul ran to get my mom and she called Becky and told her to just forget the food and get her butt to the hospital!

 I pushed maybe 4 or 5 times and my little baby was out. My sister walked in right when it happened and was able to capture these beautiful moments.

She was such a tiny thing. She has brought so much joy to our house! My little Ren Bird.

Thought of the Day

Sometimes I feel a little guilty about feeding Shamblin chicken nuggets and/or peanut butter and jelly just about every single day.

I tell myself I need to stop taking the easy way out by throwing a plate of processed food into the microwave for him.

  I decided I would take charge of my toddler's diet and make a good ol' fashion home cooked meal that is delicious and healthy. so on Tuesday I about 30 minutes making macaroni and cheese from scratch that has pureed veggies mixed in with some diced ham for protein.. (ok maybe it's not super healthy but it's got to be better than chicken from a bag?)

  It's a new recipe so I tinkered with it until it was perfect. 

  I spooned a hefty serving onto Shamblin's plate and he doesn't even touch it. He just looks at me like, "Where are my chicken nuggets, woman?"

  After much coaxing I get him to at least try it only to have him spit it back out.

  I now remember why I make him the same meal every day.

  Well.. more for me. At least he takes a vitamin every day.

Fruit and Veg Muffins

My muffin top is all that.

The rest of the muffin is delicious too though.

I made these for Shamblin but I could barely keep my little paws off them either. They were so tasty!

What You Need, Friends

1 whole zucchini 

1/2 cup shredded carrots

2 overly ripe bananas

1/2 cup applesauce

1/2 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

1 1/2 cup flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

Cut your zucchini into bite sized chunks and steam it for about 10 minutes or until tender.

After it has cooled off a bit blend up enough to have 1/2 cup pureed zucchini.

mix the applesauce and brown sugar together.

Mash up the bananas and throw them in with the sugar and applesauce along with the carrots and zucchini.

Mix the two eggs into the batter.

then add the flour, salt, and baking soda.

grease muffin pan and bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes.

Then enjoy the heck out of them like this little guy did.

Quinoa Burgers

I always have such a hard time coming up with lunch ideas. Usually I will just make myself a sandwich or some sort of wrap and pair it with some pretzels. 

That can get pretty boring after a while though..

On top of that Shamblin is starting to eat solid foods! Well he has been eating purees for a while but I'm talking about little bits of food that he can feed himself with. 

Its like the dawn of a new era.. I can watch him feed himself and do the dishes! Or I can peruse Pinterest. Or I can eat myself! Talk about some freedom.

The problem is I can have a lack of imagination when it comes to toddler finger foods. At least delicious finger foods that I know he will eat and not throw on the floor.. on purpose that is.

So I found this recipe on pinterest for quinoa burgers. If you don't know what quinoa is, it is kind of like rice.. but healthier. At least that is my definition of it.

Well these little beauties were delicious. Shamblin loved them too! Which is always a plus. And they stick together really well so they are perfect for his little fingers!
I got the recipe from here.
I did modify it just a tad.. basically I just cooked the quinoa in beef broth instead of water so it would have more flava flave. oh yeah. I also left out some spices and used all purpose flour instead of wheat but you get my drift.

Quinoa Burgers

1 cup uncooked quinoa

2 cups beef broth

1/2 cup kidney beans

3/4 cup shredded cheese of choice (I used cheddar)

1/2 cup shredded carrots

2 tablespoons flour

1 tablespoon cream cheese at room temp

2 eggs

2 tablespoons white onion, finely chopped

2 cloves garlic

1 teaspoon hot sauce

1/2 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon pepper

Heat 2 cups of beef broth in a saucepan. While that is happening go ahead and rinse the quinoa. When the broth is boiling add the quinoa. Stir it around a little bit then set on low heat. Cover and let it simmer for about 15 minutes or until it is done. Then let the quinoa cool off. I put mine is a separate bowl so it would cool down faster.

While the quinoa is cooking mash up the kidney beans until they form a thick paste. Put them into a mixing bowl along with the cheese and cream cheese. Mix those 3 ingredients altogether.

When the cheese and beans are mixed add everything except for the quinoa and stir until combined.

When the quinoa is good and cooled off add  it to the rest of the ingredients.

Heat a skillet on medium heat with a dash of olive oil. Make the patties as big as you like. I would spoon it out onto the skillet until it looked big enough to me. Cook on each side for 3-4 minutes or until crispy and goldenish brown.

And there you have it! Delicious quinoa patties. I served mine on a hamburger bun with lettuce, cheese, tomato, and a little bit of BBQ sauce. It was awesome.

God is Bigger than the Boogie Man

We have finally established a wonderful morning routine.
For a long time it was sporadic. It all depended on how well Mr. Shamblin slept the night before. For a few months it was rough..
It's nice now.
Paul leaves about 4:45 am to go workout with our friend Matt. I call that dedication.
He gets home around 6:30 and wakes me up with lots of kisses and makes me feel his muscles.
I very sleepily pat his arm and fall back asleep until 7:00. That is when the little bean starts cooing to himself.
I wake up and get Shamblin and we join daddy for breakfast.

It's good and it's sweet to spend time with family in the morning. I love it!

This morning Paul told me something a little shocking. He said when he left for work this morning our garage door was open. And it had been wide open all night long.
Yikes..
But that's not all..
Paul also said in the middle of the night he went into the living room to find his head phones.
He felt someone's presence. Someone was in our house.

When he told me that I felt like my heart dropped to the floor. I was terrified! I couldn't believe it.
I think Paul saw the panicked look on my face because he quickly stated that he didn't think it was a person in our house.
He said he thinks he felt the LORD in our home.
He told me he felt like someone was there and the presence felt BIG.

I immediately calmed.
Wow. Just wow.
If I ever needed assurance that our God is here and our God is listening, it was this morning.
I feel his omnipresence. He is here all of the time. Even when I think I can't find him.
He was here.

Best of Both Worlds Sauce

We eat a lot of pasta in this family. Mainly because it is delicious but also because it is a cheap and easy meal to throw together. Well one fine day I had a little leftover alfredo sauce. It was enough for one person but not quite enough for two. 

I've been to restaurants where they mix alfredo and tomato sauce together so I thought I would do that.

Oh my lambs. It was the most delicious pasta sauce I have ever tasted. It is now the only pasta sauce we eat. The other day I was out of heavy whipping cream so I couldn't make this sauce so we settled for regular tomato sauce. And I was disappointed. That has never EVER happened to me. I have never been disappointed by regular spaghetti sauce. 

We have been RUINED! Ruined I tell ya... and we love it..

Here is what you need.. and this batch makes a whole lot so feel free to half it.

2 sticks of butter

2 cups heavy whipping cream

2 cups parmesan cheese

3 tablespoons cream cheese

1-2 cups tomato sauce (I use Ragu)

parsley

basil

salt

pepper

You can use a sauce pan if you wish. I like this skillet that has deep sides. It is good for making sauce. Turn it on medium low - medium heat. My pans get super hot so I always tend to put the heat on a lower setting. 

ok melt the butter. All of it. and get excited.

When butter is melted slowly pour in heavy whipping cream and whisk away.

Get it all nice and mixed together and get it pretty warm. You don't want it to boil.

Throw in a few tablespoons of parsley.

Now add the cream cheese and stir it around until it melts.

Then add the parmesan! I like to do a parmesan and asiago mix. So really you could use any kind of mix and match you want.. just do about 2 cups of whatever your doing. Get creative.

Now add about 1 to 2 cups of tomato sauce. It just depends on what you like.

mix it. mix it good.

now add some more parsley. Maybe about a tablespoon or two.. and then 2 tablespoons of basil. or less. Do what you want to do! Season it to taste so they say.

There it is in all of its glory.

Pour over your choice of noodles, devour, and try not to go back and eat the rest.